your parents love me but you hate me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
