Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
