That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
