I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
