I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
