i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
