he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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