I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
