when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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