I think I won the penis lottery.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize