And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
