I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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