Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
