But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I pour the whiskey from now on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
