So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
