do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
