fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Mom said you looked used
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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