You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
