She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize