bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
