I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
