Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize
