Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
