Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
