so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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