Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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