im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
