yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
