i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
