I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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