just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
