i would punch a child for taco bell
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm having to shit out rocks
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