Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
