Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You're like the curious george of whores
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
