There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
