And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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