If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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