you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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