You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
