Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
