I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Even my vagina gasped.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
