I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
