He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
