it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
