I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
