you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
