i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
