Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
