I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
