It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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