chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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