great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
