last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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