i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
