Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
