its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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