Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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