Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
