Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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