I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
