now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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