Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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