HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
