So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
