I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He passed out mid-signature
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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