Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
