Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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