gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
