he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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