This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
